Wednesday, July 02, 2008

stub·born : \ˈstə-bərn\ adjective

(1): unreasonably or perversely unyielding : mulish

(2): justifiably unyielding : resolute

(3): suggestive or typical of a strong stubborn nature

(4): performed or carried on in an unyielding, obstinate, or persistent manner

(5): difficult to handle, manage, or treat

Friday, April 18, 2008

The Plight of the Spoiled Shoe Shopper

Jake and Olivia both have a little cold so we were in the bathroom a bit ago while I doled out medicine for their coughs and runny noses. After taking his medicine, Jake said, "I'm thirsty Mommy. I'm thirsty for water!" I turned on the faucet and picked up his cup and filled it for him, all the while Livi was chiming in, "I'm thirsty, too! I want water, too!" I left the water running in the sink while I picked her cup up to fill it with water, too. I thought to myself that Jake has no idea what it means to be thirsty. Not really. Neither do I. Perhaps Olivia has known thirst and hunger, but if she has she was thankfully too little to remember it.

As they finished their water, I rinsed out the measuring spoon and returned the medicine bottle to the cabinet. I noticed how many other medicine bottles are in there. Something for colds and coughs - nighttime and daytime varieties, as well as medicines strictly for colds and then others strictly for coughs. Allergy medicines, Tylenol, Motrin, vitamins, sore throat spray, antiseptic and analgesic spray for cuts and burns, and a box of Barbie band-aids. (Jake's Diego band-aids are in the kids' bathroom.)

We came down to the living room and I sat down on the couch to get ready for lullabies where my sweet babies climb up into my lap for their two bedtime songs. I look over to the door and from where I'm sitting I can count 7 - that's SEVEN - pairs of Jake's shoes that are on the shoe rack by the back door. Olivia has four pairs there, and an entire drawer full in her room. I would estimate she probably has about 25 pairs of shoes in all. Jake has more shoes in his room as well.

I look across the room and there's a soft, fuzzy throw blanket and two pillows sitting in the chair. I notice the lamp on the table by the window. All we have to do is pull the pretty silver chain and the light pops on.

All of this took place within a matter of minutes. My eyes were welling up with tears. I wonder how many people would give anything for my blanket and pillows, or perhaps a drink of water from my bathroom sink. How many would give anything for medicine for their child or a pair of shoes for their feet? Many would say we are spoiled, and we are. God has blessed us. I don't understand why we have running water, electricity, medicine and money to buy the things we need. I don't know why we have more than so many others in this world. I'm sure I don't love my children anymore than a mother in Darfur or Vietnam or North Korea loves her own.

I don't know what to do to fix the world. I can't fly to Darfur and take $1000 to a homeless refugee family. What are we supposed to do, really? Sponsor a child? Well, I adopted one. Does that make me holier than thou? A great big NO. Is my work done? Absolutely not. So what do I do? Put my spare pennies in the jar at the bank to help one community in Africa have fresh water? Honestly - pennies? The whole community is going to have fresh water because of pennies collected at my bank? Is that really possible?

I have no amazing ending to this post. I wish I could tell you I've come up with the perfect plan. That I've figured out how to save the world! The fact is, there is no perfect plan. We can't save this world. It's doomed. It's in the Bible, you can check it out. What I would like to do is just pray like crazy for Jesus to come back today and rapture me and my beautiful family into heaven and away from this sad world. That would be WONDERFUL!!! It doesn't fix the problems in Darfur or Vietnam or North Korea (or the 100's of other poverty stricken places in the world.) Most of those people aren't saved. It's my job to spread the word of God to them, but I'm apparently too busy buying shoes for my children to do that.

Nope, no amazing ending here. Just depressed about the state of this world, the people suffering and the fact that I feel helpless to do anything for them. I can do all I know to do though. I can pray for them and I can take care of my own sweet family and try to raise children who will go into the world and preach and teach the gospel to others.

Oh, and I can go shoe shopping. Does anyone else feel like the most spoiled person in the world?

Saturday, February 23, 2008

~ Update on Jake ~

Thank you all so much for praying for Jake!!!! God is healing him more day by day. The Valium Jake was taking didn't seem to be helping at all. If anything, it was making things much worse. Jake was miserable and in an incredible amount of pain with his neck and the Valium made him completely loopy and unable to sleep for more than just a couple of hours at a time. We had a few very bad days at our house.

By Wednesday, I realized that the swelling on the left side of his neck was getting much worse. At some point it finally occurred to me that the swelling was on the same side as his ear infection and I gradually started to put two and two together. The doctor put him on antibiotics Wednesday for the ear infection and Thursday he seemed a bit better pain wise, but was still unable to move his head to the right. We went back to the doctor on Thursday for more bloodwork and x-rays on his neck to check for an absess. The x-rays were clear and his white blood cell count had gone down a bit which meant that the infection was getting a little better. This was all very good news! The doctor determined that what started out as an ear infection had moved into the lymph nodes which was causing the extreme swelling. She gave him an antibiotic shot to help speed healing of the infection and we were sent home to wait. If the swelling and fever hadn't gone down by the next morning, we were going to do a CAT scan to figure out what the swelling was all about. Friday morning he was still miserable but the swelling seemed to have subsided a bit. We went back to the doctor and she was very happy to report that the lymph nodes were definitely shrinking! She could feel a dramatic difference despite the fact that I couldn't tell it by looking at him. No CAT scan was needed! Praise God!!

Jake hasn't had fever since Thursday and his neck is getting better and better! He has much more mobility now and is in much better spirits. He was laughing and playing today for the first time in a long time. It's wonderful to hear his sweet laugh again!

I can't tell you how worried I've been about him this week. It's a horrible thing to watch your baby in so much pain and not be able to do anything about it. Thankfully all of our prayers worked and God is healing him! Thanks so much to each of you who prayed for Jake and sent words of encouragement. Please continue to pray for him as he continues to heal!! God bless you for being prayer warriors for us!!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Please pray for Jake

Jake has been sick now for 10 days. We initially thought it was the flu because everyone else in Sparkman has it, including a little girl in his class and all the symptoms fit. He started taking Tamiflu last Monday so we expected it to be over within a couple of days. (Mike also had what we assume was the flu but he's all better now.)

Jake was feeling better by the end of last week and we went to his cousin's birthday party on Saturday. He roller skated and had a good time but seemed tired. He woke up Sunday morning with a fever again of 102. By Sunday evening he had a stiff neck and couldn't turn his head to the right and he was in a lot of pain. I looked up stiff neck and fever on the internet and meningitis came up. Needless to say, this Mommy became very very concerned.

We went to see our wonderful pediatrician, Dr. Green, in Texarkana yesterday and he fit Jake in early because of the concern of meningitis. His white blood cell count was high, so they ended up having to do a spinal tap. They wouldn't let us be with him during the procedure so I spent those fifteen minutes praying and reading my Bible through tears. They brought my sweet boy back to his room and he said, "It only hurt a little bit." He's so tough. I'm so proud of him. They gave him a shot of Ativan and we waited about 45 minutes for the results. They were NEGATIVE for meningitis!!! This was a wonderful blessing from God! They also swabbed Jake for the flu and he hadn't had it. Dr. Green determined that this was a virus and there was nothing he could take to get rid of it. They called all over Texarkana trying to find a pharmacy that carried liquid Valium and finally located some. So, we're home now and only have Valium for the spasms and Ibuprofen for the fever.

Jake is in a TREMENDOUS amount of pain with the muscle spasms in his neck and of course also feels terrible from running a high fever and being sick. Despite being on Valium, he still has trouble sleeping through the spasms. He is drinking fluids but hasn't eaten much over the last several days and he's incredibly weak. I ask that you pray for complete healing for him. I know God can take this virus away today and I pray that he will. Please pray for comfort for him until God heals him. The Valium makes him very dizzy. It helps with the spasms enough that he sometimes wants to play but he can't because he's so dizzy. He also hates the taste of it so we have to hold him down to give it to him. He is absolutely miserable right now. Jake is the sweetest child in the world and would pray for you endlessly if you needed them and especially if you asked for them. So, we ask that you pray for our sugarbear.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Do I not have the two cutest kids in the whole entire world?!?! You may have noticed Olivia's new short haircut! I think it looks awfully cute, despite the fact that it was in NO way intentional, at least on my part. Miss Olivia decided to cut her lovely locks a couple of weeks ago and she proceeded to do so all by herself. I was a VERY unhappy Mommy. It had just gotten long enough to put into a real ponytail! She also cut it on Wednesday afternoon, so we had to make a mad dash to the salon before church to see if we could do something to fix it. Mike's cousin Mindy did a great job. It's a bit peculiar looking in the back still, but Mindy managed to blend it really well. Olivia cut it right in the middle of the back of her head! UGH!! Needless to say she was in a good bit of trouble, so I don't think she'll be doing it again anytime soon. It's funny that cutting her hair actually made her look older and much taller! She's super cute no matter what her hair looks like! Her brother is also ridiculously handsome if I do say so myself :<)

Buddy the Bear votes for Huckabee!

Buddy the Bear is the current class project at Jake and Olivia's preschool. He goes home with each of the families and we take him on little adventures. We take pictures of Buddy on his excursions and then each family will share their outings with Buddy through photographs and words in a class book. It's a very cute idea I think. We were the first family to have Buddy so we bought him a toothbrush, blanket and a little red suitcase. The last family to have him bought him the cute camo outfit you see in the picture. Although we already had a turn with Buddy, I asked to take him to vote. The elections are an important event taking place in our country after all! So, Buddy joined us on our voting adventure. As it turns out, Buddy is also rooting for Governor Huckabee :<)

Speaking of the election, can I just say how ELATED I am that Mitt Romney has dropped out?!?! Proof that prayer works!! I couldn't have been more surprised yesterday when he announced suspension of his campaign. I am overjoyed!! If you haven't already, PLEASE make a donation to Huckabee's campaign ASAP!!! He needs our help to get to the White House! He can't do it alone. PRAY PRAY PRAY for the primaries tomorrow in Washington, Louisiana, Kansas and next Tuesday District of Columbia, Maryland and Virginia. If you live in one of these states please prayerfully consider voting for Mike Huckabee and encourage others to do so as well! Then GO VOTE!!!!

Monday, February 04, 2008


Obviously I'm voting for Mike Huckabee tomorrow! If you wondered why I'm certain he's the right man to be our next President, there are a few reasons below. If you want to know more about Huckabee, please check out his site at If you still aren't sure who to vote for, give me a call or email me! I would LOVE to tell you why Mike Huckabee is the man for the job.

A few of MY personal reasons are that he's 100% pro-life. He's not sort of pro-life most of the time, He's ALWAYS PRO-LIFE - ALL THE TIME! He has more on the job experience as a leader than any other candidate. He is the only candidate who the Gun Owners of America calls a leader who “…has proven himself to be a steadfast friend to gun owners and the Second Amendment.” He's been a member of the NRA for 15 years and is a member of the NWTF and Ducks Unlimited. As Governor of Arkansas, he cut taxes 100 times and left us with an $850 million surplus which he encouraged congress to give back to us in refunds. The question isn't really why Mike Huckabee, it's why not Mike Huckabee! There isn't a better qualified person for the job. I hope that you'll pray about who to vote for tomorrow and by all means - VOTE!!!


SANCTITY OF LIFE I support and have always supported passage of a constitutional amendment to protect the right to life. My convictions regarding the sanctity of life have always been clear and consistent, without equivocation or wavering. I believe that Roe v.Wade should be over-turned.

MARRIAGE I support and have always supported passage of a federal constitutional amendment that defines marriage as a union between one man and one woman. As President, I will fight for passage of this amendment. My personal belief is that marriage is between one man and one woman, for life.

HEALTH CARE Our health care system is making our businesses non-competitive in the global economy. It is time to recognize that jobs don't need health care, people do, and move from employer-based to consumer-based health care.

TAXES I support the Fair Tax. (Casey's input about Fair Tax: That means the end of the IRS. That means the end of taxes coming directly out of your paycheck. With the Fair Tax, you only pay tax on NEW things at the time of purchase. That way it's not just the hard working tax payers of America paying the government's bills - it's everyone who makes a purchase.)

EDUCATION I have been a strong, consistent supporter of the rights of parents to home school their children, of creating more charter schools, and of public school choice.

EDUCATION We need a clear distinction between federal and state roles in education. While there is value in the"No Child Left Behind" law's effort to set high standards, states must be allowed to develop their own benchmarks.

IMMIGRATION We have to know who is coming into our country, where they are going, and why they are here. We need a fence along our border with Mexico, electronic in some places, and more highly-trained border agents.

WAR ON TERROR I believe that we are currently engaged in a world war. Radical Islamic fascists have declared war on our country and our way of life. They have sworn to annihilate each of us who believe in a free society, all in the name of a perversion of religion and an impersonal god. We go to great extremes to save lives, they go to great extremes to take them. This war is not a conventional war, and these terrorists are not a conventional enemy. Iwill fight the war on terror with the intensity and single-mindedness that it deserves.

2ND AMENDMENT RIGHTS The Second Amendment is primarily about tyranny and self-defense, not hunting. The Founding Fathers wanted us to be able to defend ourselves from our own government, if need be,and from all threats to our lives and property.

To learn more about Mike Huckabee, go to!

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

"My faith is my life - it defines me.
My faith doesn't influence my decisions, it drives them."
- Governor Mike Huckabee
I love that quote. If everyone lived their lives that way, think how much better this world could be. I strive to live my life that way. My faith is definitely my life and it drives all of my decisions.
I hope your faith is strong. I hope you believe that God is in control of our country and our 2008 Presidential election. I hope that you'll pray for God's will to be done in this election. Regardless of who you end up voting for, please pray for our country to turn to God. Please pray for a God fearing President who puts all of his decisions in the Lord's hands.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

We've got spirit yes we do,
we've got spirit how about you!?!?!?!

You'll notice at the top of our blog I am now a Huckabee Ranger. I have pledged to raise $500 for Mike Huckabee's campaign. If we could personally give Mike Huckabee $1,000,000 for his campaign, we would. We back him 100%. I realize that not all of you are going to agree with all of his views. Though if you're a Christian, you probably agree with many of them. I've certainly made no secret of the fact that we support Mike Huckabee for President. Our country was based on Christian values and we believe Mike Huckabee can, with God's help and the help of the Christians in this nation, turn our country back toward God!

Mike and I are not wealthy people. We're not even middle class, but we know Mike Huckabee can't get to the White House without our help and your help. We have already made a $100 donation to Huckabee's campaign and will donate more as the Lord allows us. Would you be willing to do the same? I ask only that you pray for God's leading and give to Huckabee's campaign as you feel led. Donate as much as you can, but remember that you can make a difference in the outcome of this election even if you can only donate $5.

Please keep this incredibly important election in your prayers and donate as you can. Help me reach my fundraising goal!!!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

365 days~12 months~52 weeks~8760 hours~525,600 minutes

Anyway that you look at it, it's a year.
A year of seemingly endless tears.
A year of trying to make sense of God's will.
A year of getting out of bed in the morning,
even when you don't want to.
A year of being as angry as you've ever been.
A year of wanting to crawl into a cave and hide.
A year of trying to put it out of your mind.
A year of making sure you remember even when it's hard.
A year - an entire year.

I know from the experience of losing my Mama that it's the hardest day there will be. It makes it permanent. For the first 364 days you somehow rationalize that it's not real - that you're having a nightmare and you'll eventually wake up. When it becomes a YEAR, there's no pretending anymore. It's life as you know it and there isn't anything you can do to change it. Life goes on whether you want it to or not. God wills it to go on and it does.

After a year passes you catch yourself before you grab the phone to call him. You catch yourself before you look in the direction of where he should be. That awful pain in your heart catches you before you move.

It's been a year and although a year is a long time, for us surely it's only been a few short hours. The pain is still so fresh and our wounds are still open. Why is it harder today? We have gone on breathing everyday just as God willed and then today we awaken and it's January 10, 2007 all over again and we don't understand how it's been a year when he was JUST HERE. He was just here. It hurts - it hurts as if it were that day again. You relive the day just as it was all day long. Where you were, where he was. What you did, what he did. You remember the minutes, the words spoken, the smell of his shirt. Surely it hasn't been a year, and yet it has.

Jesus himself spoke the words, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." We have made it through the last year simply resting on Jesus Christ. If the Lord wills it, we will make it another year and then another... and the wounds will remain but God will comfort us and PRAISE GOD - WE WILL SEE HIM AGAIN ONE DAY!

A year has passed and we mourn him still. We love him still. Today even more than yesterday, we remember this man whom we loved so much. Because it's been a year today since he met his Savior face to face and at least today, a year later, we can say thank you God for taking him home to be with You in heaven.

I took this video just a few hours before Daddy Don died. Jake was spraying him with Silly String in our living room and they had so much fun. It's been too hard to post it until now, but this is how we want to remember him. Laughing and playing with his grandchildren - that's what his life was all about.

We love you Daddy Don and we miss you.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Who do YOU want to be your next President???

Someone located my blog via Mike Huckabee's blogroll and left a comment so I went and checked out her site as well. She had a link to a really cool site where you can do a quick survey about how you feel on certain issues and it will give you the name of the candidate who most matches your beliefs. Not surprisingly, I was most in line with MIKE HUCKABEE!!!!!! Anyway, check out this site:

and see who you're most in line with. I hope that it's Mike Huckabee, and if it's not... well, perhaps you should pray about it :<)

Friday, December 28, 2007

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "One year ago today... Olivia officially became ou...": How sweet! A mere child smiling as he kneels alongside a slaughtered animal ~ What a parent you are to teach and instill in your child that ending the life of an innocent animal is sport!

Listen, I love a spirited conversation as much as the next person, but if you're going to leave a sarcastic comment on my blog, you should at least have the guts to leave your name with it. (You could also leave your comment with the correct blog post.)

Also, unless you are a strict vegetarian who owns no animal skin products (that doesn't just include fur, but also leather watch bands, jackets, boots, shoes and leather covered BIBLES to name a few) you really have no right to say anything about hunting. I assure you that hunting animals in the wild is far more humane than raising animals up simply to be slaughtered, pumping them full of chemicals, and then carting them around numerous times from auction to auction then to the slaughter house in huge trailers with no room to move around and NO food or water.

And just for the record, we don't hunt simply for sport, although we do get a lot of enjoyment from carrying on our ancestors' tradition of hunting. We hunt for FOOD. 90% - that's NINTY percent - of the meat my family eats in a year comes from deer, turkey and ducks we kill. Unless you want to start paying our family's food bill so I can buy some of your steroid filled cows from the grocery store, I suggest you keep your sarcastic comments to yourself.

For that matter, if you don't like the content on my blog, why are you reading it in the first place?

Monday, December 17, 2007

And they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for his name. And daily in the temple, and in every house, they ceased not to teach and preach Jesus Christ.

Acts 5:41,42

I rejoice, I rejoice, I rejoice! I will never cease to teach and preach Jesus Christ! I can't imagine the suffering the apostles endured, but I gladly suffer shame today and everyday of my life in the name of my Lord. I will always speak His truths boldly and be thankful that I am His child.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Happy 5th Birthday, Jake!!!!
(we love you more than dirt!)
Jake's 1st time to go "duck huncking" with his Daddy!
December 2007

October 2007

Yellowstone 2006

Pensacola Beach 2006

Christmas 2005

Halloween 2005

Choosy moms choose Jif and so do their kids! 2004

Fall 2004

Snuggling in the warm laundry 2003

My sweet baby February 2003

Friday, November 30, 2007


I understand some of you would like to see new pictures of my sweet babies!! Sorry about that :<) I am mostly a MySpacer these days and I have lots of new pictures of us on my page. Just go to and you can look at my slideshows or click on "my pics" and it will take you to my albums. You don't have to sign up to look at the page, but you ought to sign up anyway!! It's lots of fun and I've found lots of old friends on MySpace.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful Christmas season so far! I've been decorating for three days and I'm still not done! I LOVE LOVE LOVE Christmas!!! 25 days till Jesus' birthday!!!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

One year ago today...

Olivia officially became our daughter! As anyone who knows me well or frequents this blog knows, I am not generally an "emotional" person. I tell you what though, today has been more emotional than I thought it would be. I think most people are in awe of their children whether adopted or not, just as I am, but mostly today I'm in awe of our situation. I just feel incredibly blessed to have this beautiful family made just as God intended. It wasn't in the usual way, but man, I think that makes it even better. I look at Olivia now and I can't believe how far she's come. I could rehash what she was like when we first adopted her, but you can go back in the archives and read about it. For that matter, you probably remember. She wasn't fond of us to say the least and we had a really tough time for many months. Now she's just one of the gang and I not only forget that she's adopted, I forget she's Vietnamese. She's just Livi. I see her only as my daughter. I don't see a little girl who was an orphan a year ago. I just see my very silly and strong willed Olivia. She's a handful but I sure do love her. Loving Olivia as a daughter didn't come naturally to me as it does to some who adopt, but God has over time blessed me with a very special love for her. The last year's ups and downs I've mostly kept private, because that's what they are - private. I will say that I couldn't love a biological daughter more than I love Olivia. She and Jake are absolutely precious to me and I would fight to the death for them. Do I love them the same? No I don't, and I hope I never do. They are separate people who I love differently. The important thing is that I love them both more than anything in the world. Actually, they are third on my list after Jesus and Mike :<) So today we didn't do anything particularly special for our Forever Family Day. We ate at The Fried Pie with Bro. Jack Daniels, who has been here preaching our AWESOME revival, took naps, went to Camden, then went to church tonight where 5 people's souls were saved!!!! I'd say that's a pretty good way to spend our day! I think we ended up with 15 salvations this week - PRAISE GOD!!! It's been amazing watching God work! Tonight in church Olivia yelled out "amen!" It was such a sweet moment. My babies are so precious! Bro. Jack asked for all of the ministers in the church to raise their hands and Jake raised his. Even at the age of 4 he says he's going to be a preacher. He's said it since he first started talking. I couldn't be more proud of these two amazing kids. They both love the Lord and they love to pray and sing. Oh my, I could go on and on about my blessings! I tell you what, I sure have plenty to be thankful for!! Mostly I'm thankful that my family of 4 is finally spending it's first Thanksgiving ALL together!!! I love Vietnam, but I'm super thankful that I'm spending Thanksgiving this year in ARKANSAS!!!

So I've told Olivia several times throughout the day about how she's been with us for a year now and she gets all excited and her little eyes sparkle. Mandy, you should be proud of me telling her about her "story" all day! I don't think of it as her day though as much as I do OUR day. It's the day our little Munn family finally became complete. So Happy Forever Family day to us!

Also, a very special Happy Forever Family day to our great friends The Mulliez's!!! We can't imagine what life in Vietnam would have been like without you guys and little Miss Anna! We love you so much and are glad to have you also as part of our forever family!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

One more cute picture of Jake with my deer! You get a better view of the rack and well, let's face it, Jake's so adorable that I could post a million pictures of him!

I killed this ten point the first day of deer season last weekend!!! It's the biggest deer I've ever killed, so I was excited to say the least. Until TODAY, Mike hadn't killed one bigger this season so I was winning our personal big buck competition. We are both HIGHLY competitive and I'm unhappy that I'm now behind him. He killed an 11 point this morning. I still have a buck tag though, so it's not over yet :<) Olivia was actually with me when I killed this buck, but she wasn't as cooperative with pictures as Jake, so you get to see his smiling face! He gets SO excited when his Mommy (or his turkey Daddy) kill a deer. Olivia was not as impressed, but she likes deer hunting. It was really neat spending so much time with the kids one on one this week in the deer stand. We switched out who took J & O over the week so we each had time with them and it was really nice. We all had a good time. I would post a picture of Mike's, but I'm still stewing over the fact that he's winning so it will have to wait for another day!
By the way, HAPPY (almost) TURKEY DAY!!! Don't forget to thank God for all of the blessings in your life!!

It turns out that supporters of former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee are the most likely to be happy. Huckabee has a relatively high proportion of support among evangelicals, who tend to be happier than most people.

- from a Yahoo! news report today at

I just thought it was interesting that evangelicals tend to be happier than most people. Hmmm. Wonder why that is...

By the way, if you haven't chosen a Presidential candidate to support, you should definitely check out Mike Huckabee. He's BY FAR the best one in the bunch!

Monday, October 08, 2007

The hardest job you'll ever love...

That's what the Army says, right? It's the hardest job you'll ever love? I'd have to disagree. I think the job of pastor is the hardest job you'll ever love. The second hardest job?? PASTOR'S WIFE. Right now though, I'm not loving it. In fact I'm not liking it at all. I think there must be some unspoken thing between pastor's wives that they don't tell the wives of men who are feeling led to the ministry. Those women out there who are already pastor's wives don't tell those women how hard it's going to be because if they did we might possibly do everything we could to talk our husbands out of surrendering. (For the record, I wouldn't have done that even if I HAD known how hard it was going to be.) The fact is that I'm SO PROUD of my husband. I sit in church 3 times a week and listen to my husband from the pulpit in amazement. He is God called, God ordained and God FILLED. He is an incredible blessing to me and I can't imagine him not preaching. I just didn't know what my role would be in this. I had no idea what life would be like as "The Pastor's Wife." I feel like that should be written in blood on black velvet. It's very daunting.

For whatever reason, a pastor and his wife (and their children, God help them) are held to a higher standard. We live in our little fish bowl and everyone feels they have the right to peer in anytime they want to see what we're up to. They rarely feed us though. Does anyone honestly think I would intentionally hurt them or offend them? Does anyone honestly think that I would say something to hurt their feelings ON PURPOSE???? I have never in my life had every word I say critiqued in such a manner. Everything I do and say goes under the microscope for inspection. I'm FAR from perfect. I have never claimed to be. I also don't understand why it's easy to forgive a regular person for their imperfections, but so difficult to forgive a pastor or his wife. Why in the world are we put into solitary confinement for saying the wrong thing when normal people simply get a slap on the hand? I'm perplexed. I'm frustrated. I'm tired.

I was told this week - not very nicely (and along with LOTS of other things) - that I'm not a "cookie cutter pastor's wife." (My first thought on that of course is why would I want to be?) Anyway, I read something today that was written by another pastor's wife about the same sort of thing. I'll stick her words in here for you to read for yourself.

I am a pastor’s wife of 37 years and early in our ministry I realized that everyone in the
pew had their own philosophy of what they deemed a “Pastor’s Wife” should be. If we went to a church that had 500 parishioners, there were 500 philosophies. Then I realized even my husband had his own philosophy. Then there was mine. I was raised in church and had a few different pastor’s wives so I had developed one, also. One day in prayer I told the Lord that He was going to have to give me the philosophy that would work for me because I would never measure up to all those different ideologies. This is what He spoke to my heart and said. Your philosophy should be as the pastor’s wife -- YOU TAKE CARE OF THE PASTOR!

Oh man!! I can't tell you how that spoke to my heart today. I'm freaking out trying to figure out how to be the perfect "pastor's wife" and do all that goes along with that, when all I really needed to be doing is taking care of the pastor! PRAISE GOD!!!!!! I'm not in charge of the universe! I have been thrilled to be called as my husband's helper. This is a role I have cherished for nearly 6 years. God called me to be a wife and mother. These are the sacred roles God entrusted me with. My job isn't to take care of the flock. That's the shepherd's job. My only job is to take care of the shepherd. Is anyone else amazed when God gives them EXACTLY what they need to hear? I have opened the Bible so many many times and turned to exactly what God wanted me to read to get out of any and every situation I've ever been in. On the occasions when I actually paid attention of course it all worked according to His plan. Well today I'm listening. God told me (via the internet of all things) that my job is to simply take care of my husband. He'll take care of the rest.

He also gave me this verse. At first it made absolutely no sense to me as to what it had to do with my situation but after reading it the third time it finally struck me.

Endure harship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs - he wants to please his commanding officer. 2 Timothy 2:3,4

I want to serve in my church. I want to get along with people and make friends. I want to fellowship and enjoy time with my sisters in Christ. God said to me - That's all great, but you are a soldier. It's your job to please your commanding officer. We often get confused about our reason for going to church. I want to make people happy. I want to teach my Sunday School class. I want to sing well. I want to look nice. I want to make other people feel good about themselves. I want to make people smile and laugh. These are all things I WANT. Sometimes they are also things God wants, but what God wants (and I know this because it's in HIS WORD) is to please my commanding officer. The only reason I should go to church is to worship God and to serve God. Often that entails the things I want to do, and sometimes it doesn't, but regardless - those wants should never overshadow what GOD wants.

Having said all of this, I'm personally feeling a little bit better about my "pastor's wife" situation. Now we just have to pray that the others around me will receive word from God about the same thing! I also will keep praying for God to discipline my tongue and allow me to say only that which will be taken the right way. With God all things are possible. I've just got to keep reminding myself of that.

This wife and mommy are hoping that you have a blessed day and that you'll keep her (and her husband and children) in your prayers :<)

Saturday, September 29, 2007

These are my very favorite pictures of Olivia. I took them by the big pond at our old house. I have them on my MySpace page and lots of my friends have mentioned them to me, so I thought I'd share them with those of you who refuse to join the world of MySpace (Mandy - I'm talking to you.) For those of you who may not know, I'm an aspiring photographer so I'm proud of these pictures. Aspiring was the key word in that last sentence. :<)

Monday, September 24, 2007

Weirdest comment about Olivia so far

So we're in Wal-Mart the other day and we're rolling down the aisle like normal people do. Jake is helping me push the cart, Mike is beside us and Livi is sitting in the front of the cart. So, this middle aged man in one of the Wally World power wheelchairs rides up to us and says something about Olivia being cute. This is normal. Happens all the time. No big deal. Then he asks if she's Chinese. Another normal question. We say she's Vietnamese. He says, "Ah, I spent some time there years back." Normal response from men his age. We get that a lot. So then he says, "Well, she could be mine, well her Mama anyway. I sure had my share of fun while we were over there. Lots of women. No telling how many kids I got over there." HOLY FREAKING COW! I was nearly ill right there in the store. He said this in front of my children! I was not pleased. I looked at him like he was a lunatic and walked away. For those of you who know me, that was actually pretty nice considering. It's a 1000 wonders I didn't clock him. Apparently being a pastor's wife has been good for me :<)

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Happy 60th Birthday Daddy Don
we miss you & we love you
This is the very last picture I ever took of Daddy Don. Jake was shooting him with Silly String. It was taken only a few hours before he died in January. He should be in Colorado right now bow hunting for elk. I'm writing through tears. I can't believe he's not camping in the mountains right now. I can't believe that he won't be home in a couple of weeks with hilarious stories about bears and flat tires and stuff Cecil said. I can't believe that I'll never argue with him again. I can't believe he's not here to help me practice shooting my bow. As impatient as he was, he was the best hunting teacher in the world. He was a pain in the butt and I loved him so much more than he ever knew. Even 9 months later, our hearts are broken. We are still so broken, but we're blessed to see so much of him in Jake. Say a prayer for JuJu, Rhonda and Mike today if you will.

Happy Birthday Daddy Don. We'll see you soon.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Sometimes I still feel him,
Little heart within my own.
I’m lost without memories.
A child within me,
But never seen by my eyes,
Never felt by my fingertips,
Never kissed by my lips.
A mother’s love unknown.
Lost for years with a love
I can’t give and can’t receive.
Lost, lost, lost…

missing you today more than usual my sweet love


Since you (for some unknown reason) still check my blog everyday, I thought I'd write a post just for you!!! Hope you're having a peachy day!!